Did you hear about the “thinspiration” blogger who called Kate Upton fat? Yes, she called her fat. And there was backlash. And she had a change of heart about it.

I’m glad she had a change of heart (though the threats of rape on her are not cool in any way, shape or form), but this is the kind of mentality I think that hurts women as a whole. “Be skinny at any cost.” But the reality is many women aren’t going to weigh 100 pounds. They’re going to weigh heavier than that.

The focus shouldn’t be on being “skinny,” it should be on being healthy.

Anyone who knows me knows I have been working on losing weight for nearly a year. It was easier in the beginning, but now it’s become a struggle as I’ve plateaued and even gained back a little weight.

Though it’s become tough, I continually am told I look “amazing” and how I am “inspirational” to others who are struggling to lose. And you know what, in the end I’m not going to be super skinny. Even when I was at my thinnest and playing sports, I wasn’t super skinny. It’s how my body is built with muscles and curves and hips and thick bones. If I weighed 110 pounds or even 125 pounds, it would be a significant problem.

I just hate that we should have one ideal of what a woman should look like. Kate Upton is one ideal. She looks healthy and full of life. Other women can be super thin and be healthy too. But because you’re curvier or have thicker thighs, like Upton is accused of, doesn’t mean you’re not healthy.

So, women, don’t worry about if you’re 110 pounds or fit into a size 0. Worry more about what your healthiest weight is. Be your strongest, fittest you.